how is it already march! goodness, february went by fast.

like i said in my last post, i will be doing a reflection each month as i explore my word for this year: bride … being the bride of Christ and the bride of josh patterson.

thoughts as i grow as the bride of Christ: this month the Lord highlighted a few words – two of which are faith and belief. i have found myself more often in tears when i recognize how much faith i want to have. i know God’s word says all we need is faith like a mustard seed but i deeply desire faith like an avocado seed. i want to have so much that doubt never creeps in and i want to have plenty to share with others. i want to pray outrageously large prayers because i believe in a God who is that big. i want to stop praying cautious prayers or big prayers with doubt.

i want to fully and wholeheartedly believe. i want to trust and not doubt that my God is good despite what prayers do or “don’t” get answered. there was a sweet moment in prayer with my husband that i felt the Lord speaking inside of me. the Father said, … “the prayers you pray to me delight my ears. they are a fragrant offering to me. the aroma pleases my heart. when you come to me in prayer, i won’t let you down. i won’t fail you. it’s not in my nature. i am good and i will release my goodness in my children. despite what you see on earth … i will not ever ever let you down. you can trust me. i delight in you when you pray big and bold prayers. my faithfulness doesn’t change or waver based on what prayers you do or don’t see answered. i have called you to intercede, believe and trust my faithfulness.” a bride that is making herself ready is one that knows the voice of her bridegroom. i want to know His voice.

i trust a God that won’t let me down. a God that is perfect. pure. righteous. fatherly. and just.

entering the season of Lent: Josh gave me a book called 40 days of decrease by alicia britt chole. this book contains a devotional to help prepare our hearts for the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection through fasting. she asks, “why are you setting aside 40 days to honor Jesus’ death and resurrection this year?” my answer is … i want to witness how purity and power effect prayer and prayers being answered. i want the purpose of my prayer life to always be about intimacy and connection with the Father and His heart. God will do mighty things in the next 40 days and i love that i get to do it together with both bridegrooms.

i’m also reading a book called growing in prayer by mike bickle. i’m absolutely in awe of who daniel was as a faithful lover of God. he’s such a beautiful example of what it looks like to be a bride. mike bickle says, “we must consider his (daniel’s) dedication , especially his consistency in prayer throughout his life (dan. 6:10); his determination to set his heart to walk wholehearted in obedience to God (dan. 1:8); and his commitment to gain understanding of God’s will for his generation (dan. 10:12). it is important to understand that daniel’s life of faithfulness did not earn God’s power or greater effectiveness in prayer; rather, it positioned daniel to live in greater agreement with God, and it was this agreement that imparted the effectiveness of his prayers … the essence of faith is agreement with God–in our words, hearts, and lifestyles.”

i want, as the bride of Christ, to grow in agreement with God. and i want to remember the beautiful example we have in daniel, an intercessor.

as the bride of josh patterson: josh and i have been learning what it is to partner with the Lord in prayer. i’m just now realizing that it’s been out of this partnership with the Lord that has birthed a greater unity and partnership between josh and i. the Lord has been so faithful to answer the desires of our hearts as we have worked on different aspects of our marriage.

as josh and i sat in the car on the way to the restaurant, my eyes flowed with tears of joy and awe for an invisible God that chose tho be visible in the person of Jesus … my eyes flowed with tears of sadness that there are brothers and sisters in Christ who don’t see an accurate depiction of the Father’s face or the Father’s countenance towards them. i am trading in my heart for the one that beats inside of my bridgegroom. our bridegroom will come again to destroy ALL that hinders love. this is the man that i am falling in love with, growing in love with, and choosing to love.

two months in to 2017 and i’m filled SO incredibly full of His goodness and passionate love for me.

i listened to an IHOP (international house of prayer) prayer set yesterday. (they can be found at www.ihopkc.org/prayerroom/ with 24/7 prayer and worship.) these words sung settled so sweetly on my heart …

“because when i’m old and grey looking back on those busy days, i wanna know i gave my all in weakness, and it was all worth it. i give you my all in weakness and you’ll make it a mountain. i give you my every small yes and you’ll make love grow.”

i pray you find comfort in knowing that all it takes is a small yes.

yes, i will set my phone aside right now. yes, i will fully listen to my husband. yes, i will fully listen to my children. yes, i will watch my tone of voice. yes, i will rest and enjoy the breeze.

yes, i will choose joy.