the first month of 2016 has come and is just about gone. i wonder even at this point in the year how many of us have already begun to believe that we are failing at whatever we chose to resolve for this new year. i pray you are amongst people you love and can keep you accountable on your journey. this blog has served as a form of accountability as i wait on God to bring me community.  i’ve got several goals for this year but i’m trying to figure out how my new word for this year will look amongst all those goals. my word is

wholehearted.

the word wholehearted just kind of felt right after a year of pursuing restoration. God led me into fasting last year … fasting from facebook, food and shows. each time God whispers “be fully present”. in my time away from facebook, God exposed how i steward my time and space. when i’m on the couch with graham enjoy that time and be present. when i’m at a stop light, be at the stop light and witness the things around me. when i’m in line at a store, witness the life of others around me rather than running to fill that time with getting facebook updates. in my time away from food, God exposed my lack of appreciation for nourishing foods. i had lost an appreciation for the act of eating. i am learning to sit and eat my food. eating was a time to check facebook or emails or reply to text messages or do a to-do list and on and on the list goes. i had to reteach myself how to be aware of the foods i’m putting in my mouth and no longer just mindlessly eating when i “felt” like it. i also learned how to be more in tune with what true hunger really feels like. and in my time away from shows, God exposed how i check out of aspects of my life resulting in more and more discontentment. life is hard and there are many many obstacles but running away from them or pretending like they aren’t there isn’t a fruitful option. all of these things are things i’m still learning to do. and just like anyone else, some days are better than others.

God desires that i live each day with my whole heart. not partly here and partly there. as God led me to this word i was reminded of the scripture to love God with my WHOLE heart and my WHOLE mind and my WHOLE soul. this is the greatest command.

so how do i live in this wholeness of heart? how do i live wholeheartedly as a wife and mom and friend and as a child of God? the first thing i need to remember on this journey is that all this intention should be out of a posture of rest. God has done it all. i need not prove or earn my right standing before my Creator. i have been made whole. Christ has paid my debt. i need not do anything … but i do need to learn how to be a good steward of the life i have been given.

fullness of life is here.

 and i am whole.

it kind of blows my mind to think and say … i     am    whole.

there is healing in those words alone.